Editing Slinky (section)

== Modern Day Uses ==

Many hospitals in Africa use the slinky as a means to stretch the neck of females, thus facillitating better fellatio and preventing the growing problem of rape and, consequently, the spread of AIDS. 

Recently, it was discovered that American soldiers were using slinkies to bind and torture Iraqi POWs.

You can also use slinkies to rob your father of his manhood, go on, kids. Try it out!

On a lighter note, slinkies may be used under careful instruction in the classroom to educate youngsters on the perpetual existence of the [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]] and the omnipresent reaching of his noodly appendages.

It has been theorised that infinite fun may be had by pushing a slinky down an escalator, but this was proved false in the 1921s when someone tried it and ended up with a broken testicle. You have been warned.

It has again been theorised that slinkies can turn 180 degree coners, but this was proved false in 1922, the person testing this also ended up with a broken testicle. You have been warned. Again.

{{Tip|Left|The Slinky is not a toy. Use responsibly.}}