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Today's Featured Article - Ceiling Cat

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Featured today, a long long time ago

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Julius Cæsar, featured on 31 March 2016. See the featured version.

Featured one year ago today

Featured.png UnScripts:It's Spring Break!, featured on 31 March 2019.

Nuclear semiotics, featured on 31 March 2012. See the featured version.
HowTo:Become a Master of Disguise, featured on 31 March 2011. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Silver surfer's family.jpg
  • ...that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (pictured)
  • ...that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ...that is 8th grade math?
  • ...that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
  • ...that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
  • ...that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
  • ...that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?

In the news

On this day...

March 31: Condom Appreciation Day
you spent how much on balsa wood condoms?
  • 4000 B.C. - Babylonians create the first wooden condoms, resulting in much fewer unexpected pregnancies and many, many, many more splinter-related injuries.
  • 1865 - The modern condom is introduced, consisting of sheep stomach lining coated with sulfuric acid. It is quixotically not well received.
  • 1939 - With the invention of latex, the modern modern condom is introduced, single handedly ending the Great Depression.
  • 1958 - Condoms are mentioned on television for the first time, in an episode of The Flintstones entitled Put It Back In.
  • 1970 - National No-Condom decade kicks off at Studio 69 in New York City.
  • 1986 - AIDS becomes all the rage. Condom sales increase tenfold.
  • 2009 - The Pope claims that condoms would increase the number of people with AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa, in a similar manner to how exercise is unhealthy and cheeseburgers eat people.
  • 2010 - World's first condom-themed birthday party!
  • 2020 - Robotic condoms are invented.
  • 2030 - Robotic condoms, sick and tired of copulating with the female genitals turn gay!

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