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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Film portal.

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Film is a term that encompasses individual motion pictures, the field of film as an art form, and the motion picture industry. Films are produced by recording images from the world with cameras, or by creating images using animation techniques or special effects.

Film is an important mechanism; films entertain, misguide, confuse, and distract audiences, thus producing a society of sheep that industry and politics require on to keep those dollars rolling in. However, to avoid panic, it's commonly just lumped under the category of art.

The visual elements of cinema need no translation, giving the motion picture a universal power of communication. This is why that breasts, explosions, and car chases are as deeply cherished and understood in the United States as they are in Wherethefrickistan.

Films are also artifacts created by specific cultures, which reflect those cultures, and in turn, affect them. It is commonly agreed however that none of these will be worth digging up and featuring in the Smithsonian, regardless of the number of years old.

Traditional films are made up of a series of individual images called frames. When these images are shown rapidly in succession, a viewer has the illusion that motion is occurring. The viewer cannot see the flickering between frames due to a combination of physiological and psychological effects. One is known as persistence of vision — whereby the eye retains a visual image for a fraction of a second after the source has been removed. The other is known as hooch — whereby audiences sneak in potato vodka and other homemade alcohol under their jackets, to save money at the concession and to increase the enjoyment of the movie.

The origin of the name "film" comes from the fact that photographic film (also called film stock) has historically been the primary medium for recording and displaying motion pictures. Many other terms exist for an individual motion picture, including picture, picture show, photo-play, flick, and most commonly, movie. Additional terms for the field in general include the big screen, the silver screen, the cinema, and the movies.

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The promotional poster.
Unromantic Comedy is a 2009 UnFilm Production, directed by a bunch of idiots with a video camera, and starring, believe it or not, Cameron Diaz. She obviously hasn't got much good work recently, if this is the kind of thing she is reduced to working in...

Scene 1

A nursery, somewhere sunny and beautiful in California. Jane is helping out some little kids paint.

Jane: Okay, kiddies, it's time to put away the paintbrushes. You're going home now! (muttered) Thank God.
Child: Why are you thanking God?
Jane: Because he made our beautiful world, Ben, now stop licking the paintbrush and put it away.

Sam then walks in to pick up his child.

Child: Daddy!
Sam: Hello, son! Oh, its so nice to see you. What a shame your mother died in a car crash and now I'm a single parent...
Jane: (overhearing) Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Sam: Oh, don't worry. I'm Sam, by the way.
Jane: I'm Jane.
Sam: Nice to meet you Jane. That's a nice top.
Jane: Why, thank y-
Sam: Wanna fuck?
Jane: What!? No!
Sam: (sadly) Oh. It was worth a try.
Child: Let's go, Daddy!
Sam: Yep, let's go. Say goodbye to the sexy nursery teacher.
Child: Goodbye!

(They leave.)


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C-3PO, a character from the Star Wars universe, is seen here with his usual delusions of grandeur.
C-3PO (often shortened to Threepio) is a fictional robotic character existing in the Star Wars universe. Known to his closest friends as Goldenrod, he is one of the few Star Wars characters to be played by the same actor (acting robot Anthony Daniels) in every film that he appears in. He is also the first "alternative lifestyle" robot to appear in a major motion picture. He is also notable for being one of the only characters to appear in each film in the Star Wars Septology. Despite living millions of light years from Earth billions of years ago, C-3PO appears to have some sort of English accent (along with the usual accompanying British charm). He is rarely seen without his robot buddy, R2D2. Threepio is believed to be one of the most loved characters from the Star Wars saga, along with Han Solo and Jar Jar Binks.

One of the major problems Star Wars creator, writer, director, producer, chief accountant, and key grip George Lucas encountered during the production of the first Star Wars film in 1977 was finding a way to realistically portray a humanoid cyborg on-screen. At the time, the technology for making humans look like robots simply did not exist. After wrestling with the concept for several weeks, George Lucas fired both the head of costume department as well as the casting director, re-assigning both positions to himself, and asking "we have lasers and explosions and special effects out the ass! Is it really that hard to have a robot!?" After much contemplation, Lucas came up with the idea of having an actual humanoid robot play the part of the humanoid robot in the film. "It was so insane" he says of the idea, "that it just might work."


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