UnNews:US, Turkey agree to make a complicated situation even more complicated

Bold text'''Bold text''''Bold text''''Bold text'Bold text'''''''''''''Saturday, July 25, 2015

Turkey has one of the highest approval ratings of any foreign country among Americans, with four out of five answering "yes" to the question: "Do you like Turkey?"

Turkey has agreed to cooperate with the US in fighting ISIS, allowing the US to use its air base in Turkey and cooperating in airstrikes against ISIS and other terrorist entities, including enemies of ISIS who happen to be enemies of Turkey as well. "These strikes will wreak havoc on Turkey's old enemies and weak their ability to fight Turkey's new enemies, while drawing the ire of those new enemies," said common sense. "By making everyone in the region mad, Turkey's security concerns are exacerbated." Common sense, however, pointed out that US strikes against ISIS will help the Peshmerga - who seem to be the only good guys over there - gain greater autonomy and territory, spoils of a war it never started. The coalition, however, does not intend to ensure the Kurdish factions do not engage in ethnic cleansing and push the chaos further south as it advances on ISIS. "You know what? Nobody's listening. I seem to be making things worse, if anything. I should just stay out of it. Not my problem."

As of press time, common sense has pretty much checked out.

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